To all the smokers out there

Attention to those specific SMOKERS whom are COMPLAINING about the HAZE.

 

You don’t have the right to…

 

whY???

 

Because you are the contributor to a small percentage of it.

 

Now, at least you have a feel of how we felt when we were inhaling your 2^nd and 3^rd party smoke.

 

I have no objections towards smokers, just don’t blow the smoke in my face, or anyone else’s.

 

 

 

Now, to start off a good Friday.

 

To marry for richer or poorer

====================

 

Guy: *drinking at a bar with a sad face*

Bartender: Why are you looking so sad?

Guy: I have married a beautiful wife and she made me a millionaire.

Bartender: WOW, that’s great, if I am a millionaire, I would be so happy!

Guy: You don’t understand.

Bartender: Why not, you have the money, you have the lady, you are the luckiest guy.

Guy: Before I got married, I was a billionaire.

Bartender: *STUMPED*

 

 

Haze is on the loose,

Stay indoors and get comfortable.

 

Better sales people

Need to hire the best sales man to achieve targets and quotas?

 

Fear no more

as more private companies have the ready pool of talents,

for YOUR quota job.

 

They can appear anywhere,

Anytime, even in wee hours,

To fill up the quotas,

As long as you give them a number,

They will try all means to get it done for you.

 

They don’t need to speak.

They don’t need to argue.

They don’t need to response.

They just need to punch a few buttons,

You will be begging for their mercy.

 

They are none other than the fearless uniformed wardens that

terrorize the parking lots and disappears with a trail of a long note.

 

 

They have great camouflage skills where you cannot see them

     even 70% of their uniform are white in colour.

They work 365 days around the year and around the clock

     even when everyone is sleeping, they are not.

They are armed with the best weather resistant equipments

     even thunder storm, haze and scotching sun cannot deter them.

 

 

So, what do you say?

Need human resource with the best sales?

We have got all of them lined up for you.

 

Hurry before the best gets hunted.

Call 1800-Quota-Sure-Hit NOW!

While stocks last.

 

:)

 

What makes a superb management

Want to learn more?

Read on…

 

*Warning*

You may become one of them as well.

 

 

How to be a good one?

(So that you can stand in for the next election)

 

When you drive and speed…

They imposed a law to confine you

 

When you chew and spit…

They imposed a law to fine you

 

When you behave out of control…

They send you to a rehabilitation hole

 

When you break the law or commit crime…

They send you to jail and condemn you for life

 

When you are discharged from the prison…

They create more jobs, but only to give you a yellow ribbon

 

When you import legal goods and make more money…

They labelled it as illegal and make you sorry

 

When you are poor with no lawyer to defend…

They escort you to jail to polish the fence

 

When you support and vote for them…

They bring goodies so you won’t forget them

 

When you switch sides to the opposition…

They strip your perks and sink you into depression

When you comment them in the papers…

They remove you and your writing status

 

When you comment them in the magazines…

They claim a new law that you haven’t seen

(Read a link for more enjoyment…

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/234343/1/.html)

 

 

What’s the moral of the story?

======================

 

If you cannot educate people.

You CAN eradicate people!

 

If you cannot beat them.

You CAN ban them!

 

If you cannot teach and impart.

You CAN restrict and punish hard!

 

 

 

Best Wishes, yo Johnson

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Johnson.

Although I cannot attend your wedding dinner,
but my best wishes still goes to you,
Both of you. :)

Have a wonderful night and enjoy yourselves.

After saturday... 7 Oct 2005
You belong to the Hubby Club. =p


Oh before I forget,
Happy Birthday brother o brother o mine...
Although I am not the first... but hopefully not the last...

You have grown...
You have matured...
You have...
the best present...
:)


Take care and we should catch up when I'm back.


WL aka DJC aka LC

A Short Quick Magic

For your information only.

To create "havoc" or an "EXPLOSIVE" impact using public transportation is
very easy.
Let me show you the "101" Dummy Ways of Placing an Unwanted Object in the
transport system.

MRT - MASS RAPID TRANSIT.

Dummy #1:
Pretend to be a pregnant woman, not too big...
(maybe 3-4 months)
Carry a bigger than average handbag
(with whatever inside to MAKE the impact)
Then board the train during the morning peak hours.
(around 8:00-8:30am)

Portrait that you are strong,
walk across the those passengers whom are seated,
*MAGIC* - their eyes will somehow be CLOSED! :P
There, as long as you get the whole stretch of passengers with eyes closed.
There you have it, just dump your bag and no one will even BLINK an eye!

Hahahahhahahaa

Dummy #01:
Being an old man helps too, white hair is a must.
Train lines on your forehead are convincing.
Wear a polo tee, (those umbrella brands) tucked in.
Plus those lazy man shoes.

There you have it.
Somehow or rather, the magic seems to work.

The moment you step into that particular cabin,
You will find most passengers that are facing the doors.
AUTOMATICALLY, their eyes will start to FADE OUT...

(Somehow, I think they are trying to mediate to
PRAY that they wouldn't be in such a state?)

This "101" Dummy Lesson is proudly brought to you by:
** SMRT
** SBS
** LC

The best timing to try these dummy methods will be the morning and evening
peak hours.

PS: Just pray that you won't meet some kind souls.
;p