Take a shot at your career

You will never know what you can get!



(Definitely you are not going to get Li-Lin, that's for sure)

Always wanted a shot at fame, glam and superstar?
Always wanted be to the most talked about guy on TV?
Always wanted to have a dance with a celebrity?
Always wanted a secure and high paying career?

Now you can, with Singaporean Gigolo.
Gone were the days of Singapore Idol, (can sing, cannot dance, can see, cannot last)
bring on your slick moves now and you might just be the first Singapore Gigolo.

Did I mention it is Denise Keller already? *Oops*, late is better than never. In case you have never seen her before, here's a preview:



No experience is required, fresh graduates may apply.

But of course, here are some important points that you might wanna take note, unless your risk appetite is huge enough to cover these:

- For those under 18 years of age, please consult your parents. (Don’t bother asking, I know the answer… I tried before...)

- For those who are single, seek advice from your best friend. (If your best friend is of the opposite sex, I know the answer… you haven't seen Scream 4)

- For those who are attached, tricky combination, it really depends whether you are the side of the wall (M and F), or the side of the “glass” (M and M F and F)

Send in your resume now, remember to go for a make over shot, your chances are escalated by up to 80%.
(Just remember, don’t send in a photo taken more than a year ago, you are wasting Singapore’s human and capital resources)

Here’s the killer pose that you have to end with:



Goodie Luck!

- I'll be there to support you, emtionally
I'll be right in front the the TV, physically -

The most expensive possessions

Of a single is:
His/her identity

Uses all possible orthodox or unorthodox methods to achieve what he/she can become.


Of a husband is :
His wife.

Uses up all possible routes of payment for wedding, photography, honeymoon, apartment not limited to cash, CPF, debit card, credit card, family loan, bank loan and private financial loan


Of a wife is:
Her husband and children

Uses her ARSE…
(Hol-ly SHIT………………………)



- When there is a cause, there is an effect,
When something is done, there must be a reason -

Singapore, Creative, in line?

Is a straight line in line?

Is a curved line in line?

Is a circle line in line?

Singapore is a:
- food paradise
- multi-culture paradise
- FinE paradise
- mozzie paradise
- shopping (or "chopping") paradise

With so many recent cases of murder involving body parts being chop off, are people trying to be creative?

In the society now, everyone has to be creative in order to sURVIVe,
- creative when you learn (students)
- creative when you teach (lecturers)
- creative when you work (employees)
- creative when you deal (businesses)
however, there are a few isolated ones who choose to be creative in “another route”.

Placing chopped body parts in tourist hot spots, Orchard Road. Now that’s creative.
(Don’t mention about the gruesome process)

Splitting the remains in different location. Now that’s creative as well. Usually murders don’t bother so much and just dump it at some isolated or deserted location. Now they are creative.

Just a side note:
(Now even drug traffickers are creative to put drugs into coffee sachets and tries to pass them off, unfortunately they have been tricked to carry them and exposed by the big players behind)

I must say, they have learned well.

Keep up the good education Singapore,
we will lead creativity as our creative foundation is well laid.

- The smart will outsmart the smarter,
the creative will outsmart the smartest -

Mozzie Attack, back to basics?

Singapore has the best effective mosquitoes breeding prevention practice, but yet Singapore is having the worst dengue fever outbreak.

Why?

From the way I see it, it all begins from the root.

Just like keeping your house WAY too clean will bring the defense system of the child down.
When he/she grows up:
- a little touch of dirt, rashes will come.
- sallow of dirty food, vomit will come.
- a slight fall or knock, blood will come.

The same theory applies.

When you don’t get bitten by mosquitoes from young, you will be more prone to dengue fever when they strike. Or whatever diseases that they carry. Now ditch the mosquitoes nets. (Sorry manufacturers... Your net rice bowl might just tear... Hur hur hur)

Over protective doesn’t mean that you are safe.
It’s safe at that point of time, but maybe not in the future.

Of course I am not suggesting that you feed your child with mud water and filthy cheese (Those that you drop it on the floor and pick it up again), just that, TOO MUCH of EVERYTHING (even good things) IS NOT GOOD for ANYBODY! (Money applies too, pass me some if you have TOO MUCH)

Same goes for the mozzies.

Insecticides have been sprayed on them since many years ago, now, their children might be able withstand those repellants and even “swim” their way across and suck your blood right in the midst of the fog.

Now that’s what I call immunity starts from young.

So what’s next?
Go to your nearest temple and pray that mozzies will not go through an evolution and build immunity to major insecticides.

For those who don’t pray, CHANT then.

- Until then, use water wisely.
Where unnecessary, use powder -

The Men Don’t Get It, Never Will!

... ... ...

After a few decades,
they start to realise,
that woman needs more
time than men.

Why do you always see men LOITERING along the walkways to toilets in major shopping malls?
Because they cannot get enough of the smell coming out from the toilets?

I remember the police had an advertisement a few years back saying, “If you see suspicious characters loitering around your voiddeck, please call the police”

So being around the toilet arena isn’t considered suspicious?
Hahaha

My teacher used to say, “men need to inhale the power of the toilet to come brave and do something big”, (She was referring to those big bullies that pull any poor chap into the toilet and beat them up)

"Thank you teacher, that is all that I can remember from your class."

there you go, power of toilet.


Now they are going to realise the voices of the public,

“to have more female cubicles”

Hurray, thumbs up for both women, men and also the contractors and manufacturers of toilet bowl.

It’s time for a new revolution in the toilet bowl business. (Maybe they should start the standing type of toilet bowls for the ladies... Thank me when you succeed.)

Time for the manufacturers to be creative about making toilet bowls.

When it comes to women, it mean business. (ultimately equates to MONEY)


- Next boom in the industry
Toilet and Cleaning services -

Battle of the Senior vs Youngsters

Kelvin Tan.
aka
Blind Man Superstar.
(Majority have proof me wrong, they are not shallow, well done!)

Unique one in the world, contracted by Play Music.


So do you think the aunties have more money to call or the youngsters have more sms to send?

You know the result.

Auntie Killers always rule.